my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
