I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize