i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
soo... how was my night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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