Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
