There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
