I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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