you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
