i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize