What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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