today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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