i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
