the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
