somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
