Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
