I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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