i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There r osticjed everywhere
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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