What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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