absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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