Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
