we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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