She is in my trunk
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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