so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
