my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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