so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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