in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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