The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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