dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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