Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
