That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think my vagina is haunted
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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