strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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