the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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