Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
