I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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