I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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