check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
