You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Duck Duck Cougar?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Randomize
