I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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