if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
