Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dick very happy bro
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
