STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
