Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Randomize
