yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
