from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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