Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
