we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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