Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
