I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
