I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize