He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
