angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why did my mother make you get naked?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
