Midget sex pt 2 tonight
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
