Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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