come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
