Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
