So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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