she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
