What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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