is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
