I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I love you.
Bad choice
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
