Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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