I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
