wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
