If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
