im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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